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REVEALED : The Real Story  behind  Wenlock and Mandeville  

Papers seen by the GHP reveal sittings by the prime minister and his deputy took place within hours of the ballots being counted to create the creatures Wenlock and Mandeville. Like the coalition, the jury is out as to how cuddly these two really are .So far, the response of those too young to vote  or care has been positive.

 

The symbolism of this unique partnership is clear. Dubbed Clegglock and Camville, the project was launched amid blanket  secrecy within hours of a hung Parliament emerging.  Unconfirmed reports  suggest  this was initially intended to mark the launch of the Lib Lab coalition. Sources close to the project can confirm that the original mascot names of Coe & Ovett were vetoed by Downing Street in favour of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath. Arguments raged within Labour over the suitability of a one eyed mascot and who was to appear on the left.  A last ditch effort to rescue the Lib Lab mascots was attempted by a Labour leadership coup heralding the name switch to Kirkcaldy and Mandeville. That was not enough to rescue the partnership from a Lib Con tie up . The  Lib Con switch was sealed when the Conservatives agreed that Clegglock could appear  in all  photo calls  wherever the two go up and down the country. It is said that a 32  page brand coalition document goes into enormous detail what the mascots stand for.  In a significant departure , Clegglock may make solo appearances without Camville.  In a bizarre twist, the  public name choice of Mandeville survived  as did the remnants of the intended rainbow of the left  which are  still visible in the launch photos, perhaps as a silent message to some of what might have been. But the public will come to know and love them by their unofficial  names, Clegglock and Camville.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stories conflict  about  who came up with Wenlock and Mandeville first . Lib Dem strategists were said to be inspired by the powerful images of  the televised leaders debate, bringing together the  shiny steel of the podia, the softness of the participants and bold colour.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Insiders claim that the idea  for turning our leaders into Olympic mascots took shape at an under-12 clay pigeon shoot organised by the Conservatives  at which  red and yellow clays bearing the Lib Lab party logos were used  for targets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Lib Dem and Conservative colours and symbols are potently visible as the inspiration behind the  final appearance of the coalition mascots. Clear references to the LibDem dove can be seen in Clegglock’s outfit  and the Conservative two legged tree is the blueprint for the one eyed monolithic shape of these steely but cuddly creatures.  Some disgruntled  Lib Dem backbenchers however claim that  Clegglock’s outfit insensitively  incorporates the shattered feathers of the Lib Dem dove as a reference to the clay shoot. That idea is perhaps not so far fetched. The one eyed creature it can be revealed is in fact more than a nod to the countryside alliance. Closing one eye to take aim and  shoot  a small animal has been perfectly captured , say Tory Strategists , in this talismanic stroke of one eyed design genius.

 

The Conservatives wasted no time in shoring up a design brief that was destined to make Clegglock and Camville the cutest double act in Parliament.  Frantic attempts by the former labour spin doctor  Alistair Campbell and Lord Mandelson  to cement a Lib Lab coalition went as far as creating the launch day costumes in red and yellow in a last throw of the die to demonstrate that red and yellow had better under 10 appeal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is this the moment when Labour advisers  hatched a plot to hijack the  Lib Con mascot plan?

Above: The television pictures that are said to have inspired the early working drawings of Clegglock and Camville. , image inset left .

Opponents however voice deep concern about using the Olympics as a thin cloak to politicise the under 10’s. The design brief  reads like a story line from Dr Who. Targeting children as the next voting generation, the brief aims to inextricably link our leading political figures with fun. When asked to comment on reports that future party political broadcasts will be shown on C Beebies and Nick Toons at tea time, our calls were not returned.  A spokesman for the White House says they are following these ideas with interest and a theme park called “Obamarama”  is being mooted.

 

What Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath might have looked like

The coalition forged between Nick Clegg and David Cameron can be exclusively revealed by the genehuntpost to be the inspiration and driving force behind the creation of the Olympic mascots as part of a secret bid to hijack the Olympics to appeal to a new generation of under ten voters.

Welcome to the Gene Hunt Post. And our second  sighting shot

 

Who were the geniuses at Labour headquarters who came up with  the Gene Hunt poster to kick off  Labour’s  doomed if courageous election campaign.  Gene  Hunt is cool. The cop that gets things done. Both Regan and Carter rolled into one with testosterone to spare. Tough on crime, the causes of crime  from an era when the rights of victims came first. Yes, its almost nostalgic . If Gene Hunt were  to stand today  as a Tory in Scotland he would be returned by a landslide.  This was the inspiration for the genehuntpost as a political blog for the politically sane if a touch incorrect.

 

The genehuntpost is a non commercial, non profit making blog.  The stories  expressed are fictional.